The build up to the confrontation between Jay-Z and Bleek grows in intensity in the second verse of “Coming of Age (Da Sequel)”. There’s a lot we can learn about our own relationships when we listen to the lyrics in this verse. It may seem like the story takes place another world, conflicts in the drug game is no joke, that’s for sure! But I think the tension between Jay and Bleek in this crime story has striking similarities with relationships that become strained in our lives. I believe that conflict can strengthen relationships. Don’t get me wrong, conflict can (and often does) destroy relationships, but conflict often brings out an element that is vital to the state of any kind of relationship- the revelation of truth.

More on this later…

Let’s check out the lyrics in the second verse…

(Listen from 1:30-2:12)

[Jay-Z]
Look at that fake smile he just gave me
It’s breaking my heart
Should I school him or pull the tools out and just break him apart
I felt his hatred it was harsh
‘Fore this faking shit start
I should take him in back of the building and blaze him

[Memphis Bleek]
Uh-oh, this nigga Jay he ain’t slow, he must’ve picked up on the vibe
And had I, not been so high
I would’ve been able to hide
Tried to cover up myself, as I gave him a five
Hugged him, as if I loved him

[Jay-Z]
To the naked eye
It would’ve seemed we was the closest
But to those that know us
Could see that something was about to go down

[Memphis Bleek]
Stay focused
I’m trying to concentrate
But it’s like he’s reading my mind
As if he can see through this fog and all this weed in my mind
Could he see I had plans on, being the man
Ever since we first spoke and he put that G in my hand
And I gave it back to show him, I was down for the cause
As he approached
[Jay-Z: "What up Bleek?"]
And I paused..

Ok, now let’s break these lyrics down line by line, starting with Jay’s part…

Look at that fake smile he just gave me
It’s breaking my heart
Should I school him or pull the tools out and just break him apart

Have you ever had tension with someone you were once close to?

Could you feel the tension when you and this person were in the same room?

Could you see the strife in that person’s face from the moment he or she looked at you?

We all recognize the “fake smile”, don’t we?

It’s really a shame when relationships that were once tight become strained or worst. I have gone through this before. I’ll spare you the details, but I know from experience that there’s often combined feelings of bitterness and sadness when someone who you once respected, had love for and cared about now seems like a stranger or an enemy.

Jay can feel the tension and see the strife on Bleek’s face. He has enough insight to know that Bleek’s smile is disingenuous. Jay isn’t misled by appearances.

Jay states that Bleek’s animosity toward him breaks his heart. This statement reveals that Jay has love for Bleek, cares about him and is hurt by the state of their relationship.

What we see on the surface does not tell the whole story. Relationships have complexity. I know you’ve heard the saying, “there’s a thin line between love and hate.” Well, often that’s true. Jay has a beef with Bleek yet that still doesn’t completely erase the fact that he has love for him, so he’s in a really tough situation emotionally… and physically.

As Jay is about to approach Bleek he’s torn whether to give him guidance, encouragement and support or resolve the conflict with violence.

Why would Jay resort to violence against his protégé, someone he has love for?

We have to understand that the “rules” of the drug game are different from how we (should) live our lives. Violence is a part of the drug game. It’s inevitable. Anyone who gets involved in the drug game has to be prepared for violence. It’s as simple as that and Jay knows this.

Jay considers the option of “pulling out the tools” (guns) and “breaking Bleek apart” (shooting him) not necessarily because he wants to but because he knows that he may HAVE TO in order to make it out of the situation alive.

Kill or be killed.

(It’s clever how Jay takes a slang term for a gun, “tool” and creates a double entendre, which connects a literal use of the word with the literal use of a gun, which in many cases is to commit violence. You don’t hear other MCs or even Jay himself use a double entendre in that way.)

We hope that violence is not an option to resolve conflicts in our relationships but unfortunately it’s a real possibility whether the beef is between drug dealers or next-door neighbors in the ‘burbs.

The point is there are at least two ways (often more) to resolve conflict. One way can possibly strengthen a bond and the other way can possibly break a bond permanently.

Let’s move on…

I felt his hatred it was harsh
‘fore this faking shit start
I should take him in back of the building and blaze him

In the first line, Jay SEES Bleek’s fake smile but now he FEELS Bleek’s hatred, which he describes as harsh.

It’s now apparent to Jay of Bleek’s hostility toward him, which, increases his, let’s say, “determination” to resolve the conflict decisively.

The relationship between these line and the previous ones are worth pointing out because they reveal Jay’s progression in assessing the state of the situation. He had to first rely on observation (seeing Bleek’s “fake smile”) but then he quickly used his “keen senses” to realize Bleek’s true bitterness toward him.

In other words, Jay had more trust in how he felt opposed to what he could observe with his eyes. He could “see” Bleek’s animosity but he “felt” his hatred, which is a lot more troubling. And as we hear, now the option of resolving the conflict with violence is something Jay is strongly considering even more.

Remember what Bleek said at the end of the first verse?:

“Swear to God, they had me practically hating his guts…”

Keep in mind that Jay had to accurately assess Bleek’s feelings toward him in just seconds AS he approached him, BEFORE either one of them said a word.

Ok, let’s check out what Bleek has to say…

Uh-oh, this nigga Jay he ain’t slow, he must’ve picked up on the vibe
And had I, not been so high
I would’ve been able to hide

Bleek acknowledges (in his mind) that “Jay ain’t slow”. Bleek’s words support the point I just made that Jay had to think through the situation clearly and quickly. And it doesn’t take Bleek long himself to realize that Jay has “picked up on the vibe” that he hadn’t done a good job of concealing.

Instincts, observation skills, intuition, are all important in dealing with conflict and preparing for confrontation.

Choices are conceived, thought out and planned in the mind before actions are executed. The problem that many of us have is that our choices are often ill-conceived, not well thought out and poorly planned before we take what ends up being reckless actions.

If you’re going through conflict with someone in your life, DO NOT take this mental game lightly. People often end up in conflict or worsening the drama in their lives because they act on choices derived from a weak mental game.

Bleek’s next line is kind of funny and still insightful because it’s authentic and reflects how some of us carry ourselves even in the midst of drama.

Bleek admits that his heavy drug use has had an impact on his focus. Instead of masking his emotions, being under the influence of drugs has revealed them.

The admission is somewhat comical because, contrary to what some actually believe, drugs don’t make you sharper or increase your focus. The heavy use of drugs might be an asset when partying but it’s a liability when it comes to the managing conflict.

Bleek’s lyrics also give us insight because it reveals how a person can unintentionally, yet foolishly, self-sabotage themselves, compromising what’s in his best interest. Aside from the wisdom and experience discrepancies, Bleek put himself at an even greater disadvantage in the impending confrontation with Jay by being high on drugs!

Don’t allow anybody or anything to get you off your focus. Having focus is important as you go through life’s journey but especially when you’re dealing with conflict and drama.

Moving on…

Tried to cover up myself, as I gave him a five
Hugged him, as if I loved him

Bleek knows that his hostility toward Jay has been exposed but he attempts to “blur” Jay’s vision of the situation by putting on a good face, greeting Jay by “giving him five” and a hug.

By all appearances, everything is fine…

Has someone “shown” you love even though you felt hate?

Well, let’s see what Jay thinks about Bleek’s gesture?…

To the naked eye
It would’ve seemed we was the closest
But to those that know us
Could see that something was about to go down

Jay tells us that on the surface everything seems fine between him and Bleek but that those who know them both can sense trouble.

I wrote about this “skill of observation” in my piece on the original “Coming of Age” record off the Reasonable Doubt album.

You might find yourself right smack in the midst of a conflict between others. While you may not have direct involvement, their conflict could certainly impact you in some way, shape or form. Use the skill of keen observation to steer clear of drama that could change the course of your life.

Let’s continue as Bleek jumps back into the verse…

Stay focused
I’m trying to concentrate
But it’s like he’s reading my mind
As if he can see through this fog and all this weed in my mind

Bleek attempts to motivate himself to “stay focused” but it’s a challenge “to concentrate” and manage the situation because he’s high!

You know, Bleek’s position in this situation would be funny as hell if it weren’t so serious! Many cats in the streets get caught up in this situation, and, quite frankly, end up dead or in jail because of a lack of good judgment, which causes a lack of focus.

At this point in the situation, Bleek feels as if Jay is “reading his mind”. He figures that Jay is able to see through the “clouds of weed smoke” gaining clarity on his true’s feeling.

Have you ever gone to a nightspot somber and simply observed others who were already intoxicated once you got there?

Because Jay was focused and sharp he was able to observe with clarity and make an accurate judgment on Bleek’s mental and physical state.

In other words, Jay had an upper hand on the situation because while he was sharp and somber, Bleek was reckless and high.

You are at your sharpest when you first arrive to a nightclub, but the soundness of your thoughts, judgment and inhibitions settle at the bottom of a “20-ounce shot glass” once you start drinking.

The effect that drugs or alcohol has on the mind and body is what actually creates a scenario that breeds conflict and confrontation. But if you approach an existing conflict HIGH then you’re increasing the likelihood of a confrontation where YOU LOSE.

Here’s how Bleek ends the verse…

Could he see I had plans on being the man
Ever since we first spoke and he put that G in my hand
And I gave it back to show him I was down for the cause
As he approached
[Jay-Z:"What up Bleek?”]
And I paused..

Bleek reveals that from the day Jay put him on (see: “Coming of Age” from Reasonable Doubt) he’s had plans for a takeover and he speculates whether Jay has known his ambitions all along.

I think this statement by Bleek reveals what is often the root cause of conflict: personal ambition.

People are driven by their own self-interests. It’s human nature, frankly. People have their own self-agenda and this almost always has an adverse impact on their relationships with others.

I like this entire song but this verse stands out for me because Jay and Bleek brings incredible insight on how the mental game is played out in the wake of a confrontation. The drama in the first and second verses takes place in the minds and thoughts of both Jay and Bleek and it’s as intriguing as the confrontation itself.

Most rap solo records or collaborations that tell a crime story, do so with raw, unadulterated emotion and rely too heavily on sensationalism. The grittiness on these songs is fine because it’s authentic, but what separates Coming of Age (Da Sequel)” (and many other songs by Jay) from other rap songs that focus on criminality is that Jay and Bleek bring meaningful insight and intellect in telling the story of how drama plays out on the streets.

In the beginning of this piece, I stated that conflict can strengthen a relationship because it brings out the revelation of truth. What do I mean? Though Bleek tried to mask his hostility toward Jay, Hov had enough insight into the cause and effect of human motivation to realize Bleek’s true feelings toward him.

See, how the truth is revealed or who reveals the truth is not as important as the revelation itself.

Follow me?

Bleek never expressed his hostility to Jay. But through knowledge, experience and keen senses (see: “Intro” from the Dynasty album) Jay realized Bleek’s underlying feelings and his true intent. In fact, Bleek seems to strongly suspect that Jay was aware of his ambitions from the very beginning when Hov “put that G” in his hand.

Use knowledge, experience and your keen senses when navigating through conflict in your relationships. Your discovery of truth is empowerment. The resolution of the conflict is then largely determined by your will and leverage.

I think the second verse shows us the importance of being sharp and focused when dealing with conflict. The sharpness of the mind is key because it’s a powerful weapon in our search for the truth- and it’s our knowledge and understanding of the truth that gives us an advantage.

Conflict can escalate swiftly and if you’re not prepared (“Don’t be fooled my game is mental”- Can I Live) and don’t have “truth on your side” you can’t handle it thoroughly and decisively.

Of course, I’m not advocating specific actions (such as violence) on how to deal with conflict in your life. I just believe that “Coming of Age (Da Sequel)” gives us insight on what causes conflict and how our approach and handling of drama are strong factors in determining the outcome regardless of the circumstances.

The verse ends with a face-to-face greeting between Jay and Bleek that sets up a dramatic confrontation.

Stay tuned…