I believe that the mentor/protégé relationship is one of the most important bonds in the personal growth and development process of an individual. The lack of this important relationship, within the black American community for example, I believe is having a devastating impact on the lives of the youth, ESPECIALLY that of young black American boys. A mentor can be a parent, an older sibling, a teacher, a businessperson, a minister, etc. But a mentor often ends up being anyone who receives certain level of respect and admiration and gains influence over someone else who is in need of guidance. When there’s a lack of “positive” role models in a young kid’s life, often times the mentors end up being the Dope Boyz.

“I got this shortie on my block always clocking my rocks
He likes the style and profile I think he wanna mock
He likes the way I walk
He sees my money talking
To honeys hawking
I’m the hottest nigga in New York and
I see his hunger pains
I know his blood boils
He wanna, run with me, I know this kid’ll be loyal
I watched him make a few ends, to cop his little sneakers and gear
Then it’s just enough for re-up again
I see myself in his eyes, I moved from Levi’s
to Guess to Versace, now it’s diamonds like Liberace
That’s just the natural cycle
Nobody wanna be like Michael
Where I’m from, just them niggaz who bounce from a gun
We out here trying to make hard white into cold green
I can help shortie blow out like Afro-Sheen
Plus I can relive my days of youth, which is gone
That little nigga’s peeps, it’s time to put him on”

“Coming of Age”
Reasonable Doubt
Jay-Z

“When I grew up there was no lawyers or doctors in my neighborhood. I saw the Dope Boyz. So that’s what I emulated.”
Jay-Z interview with Billboard

Before we dive into the lyrics, let me share a personal story with you (it’s relevant to the lyrics and my analysis).

Up until the age of about 14, my single mother raised me. I was just 2 years old when my father rolled out, abandoning his responsibility to play a pivotal role in my childhood. I saw my father only a handful of times when I was a kid and had pretty much lost contact with him completely by the time I was around 9 years old.

This is a painful circumstance that is typical instead of rare in the black community so I’m sure that many of you can relate.

My uncles (my mother’s brothers) were smart, successful men on the up-and-up and my grandfather was the strong, generous, hard working and respected patriarch of the family. My mother got married again to a decent, caring religious man who had a son of his own yet still treated me as if I was his son and we all lived together in the DC metro area.

So, while I share with many other young, black males the painful experience of growing up without my father in my life, unlike many of them, I did have strong, positive male figures in my life and I didn’t grow up in a crime-ridden, rough-and-tough neighborhood even though we all thought we were hard nevertheless.

With that said, I still longed for a relationship with my father and at various points in my adolescence I flat-out rejected the guidance of my uncles, grandfather, stepfather and just about anyone else… except one guy.

When I was a freshman in high school, I met an older cat, I’ll call him “Blue” for the sake of this story. He was in his early 30’s at the time. He was an “OG”, a street-smart guy that knew how to handle himself. He lived in the same low-key suburban neighborhood where I lived, but he was from the streets. He was supposed to be in “settle down” mode with his fam but he was still ripping and running. The ladies loved Blue and the fellas respected him.

I was fond of Blue and he took a liking to me. I started hanging with him (and his friends) every day after school. While me and my friends in high school were trying to build “street cred”, he and his peoples already had it.

From the age of 14-19, Blue was a mentor in my life.

Blue and I would talk for hours every day about all kinds of things. Blue had intellect but he wasn’t all that book smart, he knew the streets and he would often take me with him when he went to the real ‘hood. I would watch, look and listen whenever I was with Blue. I hadn’t experienced a lot at that point in my life but I was very observant when hanging out with Blue.

I saw some things that I didn’t need to be seeing, things that youngins from the ‘hood that Blue and I were hanging out in (and ‘hoods all over the U.S. and the world) unfortunately see every day and night.

Blue “taught” me and showed me things that had an impact on me but let me be clear: Blue had issues… real problems that took their toll on him, problems that he couldn’t overcome, problems that eventually landed him in prison, where he is today.

The relationship I had with Blue actually made me appreciate more the relationships I had with my uncles, stepfather, and grandfather (I sought out and had more respect for various points of view of life), but it also increased my desire to see my father again and develop a relationship with him.

In my last post, I wrote about how I hear rhymes as conversations and how I relate these conversations to circumstances in my own life. I can relate to a song like “Coming of Age” due to my relationship with old school cats like Blue.

I’m sure many of you have had relationships in your own lives like the one I had with Blue.

What impact did the relationship have on you?

FYI: I lost contact with Blue for over 10 years and when I finally found him, he was in prison. I’ve gone to visit him a few times and we correspond with each other though not as frequently as we should.

I made amends with my father when I was 19 (ironically, around the same time “Reasonable Doubt” came out) and though we have had some rough patches in our relationship since then, I feel fairly good about the bond we now have.

Ok, let’s jump into these lyrics:

(By the way, those in a mentoring role in someone’s life should pay equal attention to the lyrics in this verse)

I got this shortie on my block always clocking my rocks
He likes the style and profile I think he wanna mock

Jay is a hustler in the drug game doing his thing and notices a young shortie (Bleek) watching how he moves in his hustle. Bleek admires how Jay carries himself and wants to emulate him.

My relationship with Blue started kind of like this. See, the one thing about me is that I’m a very observant person. The streets are watching me but I’m watching the streets with purpose and focus.

I began kicking it with Blue the first day I met him but I watched him as closely as I listened to his words. He gave me more game in how he carried himself (how he interacted with other cats, the ladies) than what he actually told me through our conversations.

Observe those who have “that something”, that you can use in your life. Some people have “it”. It goes way beyond walk, talk, clothes, cars, etc. It’s easy to get caught up in the persona of an individual, but don’t let your eyes fool you. Observation is not just about sight, it’s also a mental exercise. You have to be able to accurately process in your mind what you are truly seeing.

It’s very difficult to have this kind of enlightenment when you’re young. There’s a part of me today that regrets some of the experiences I had from hanging out with Blue. But there’s another part of me that believes that in some ways meeting Blue saved my life.

Everyone talks about having street cred and being street smart. It’s somewhat overemphasized in rap music but I will say that some of the best lessons can be learned by watching how an OG watches the streets he runs.

I observed how Blue observed his surroundings.

One of the greatest skills to “mock” is the skill of observation.

The scenario in the criminal underworld that Jay describes in the beginning lines of “Coming of Age” can be applied to mentor/protégé relationships in the worlds of academia, religion, community, politics and business.

But the most important place where this scenario NEEDS to play out is in the household.

“We be the only big boys that the big boys watch”

“The Best of Both Worlds”
The Best of Both Worlds
Jay-Z

Let’s keep flowing…

He likes the way I walk
He sees my money talking
To honeys hawking
I’m the hottest nigga in New York and

Ever seen somebody’s money talking?

Again, observation is the key activity in these lines. Bleek’s character in this story sees how the ladies respond to the opulence of Jay’s character and he wants that for himself.

The attention from the opposite sex often serves as motivation to be seen and heard. You might expect me to discredit that, but, actually, I don’t see anything necessarily wrong with that. That’s fine.

Of course, there are other motivations that I personally feel are more important, such as the need for self-fulfillment, but, too many of us don’t seem to be motivated by ANYTHING so if your motivation to succeed is primarily driven by the desire to get the attention of the opposite sex, then so be it. It’s a start (although trivial one) in your personal development and growth process.

That which motivates you might be misdirected (you’ll find that out soon anyway) but as you grow and mature as a person hopefully you’ll embrace a greater perspective on the things that are better served as your motivation.

Money talks: money can buy cooperation; having money makes one influential

Your success has a greater and broader purpose beyond attracting the opposite sex. I mean, let me keep it real, it’s always nice to be “admired” by the honeys. But success has the ability to influence much more than female (or male, if you’re a woman reading this) admirers. And your success can have the kind of impact and create the kind of change that ultimately will mean a hell of a lot more to you than female/male adulation.

Trust me, it’s true. Lol.

Let’s continue…

I see his hunger pains
I know his blood boils
He wanna, run with me, I know this kid’ll be loyal

I really like this part. Check out the genius: I like the way Jay describes Bleek’s drive to succeed. We know that when someone is “hungry” they’re motivated and determined to obtain whatever they want, which in this case is success.

Jay acknowledges that Bleek has a strong desire, a craving for success. But Jay goes further when he uses the term, “hunger pain”.

Hunger pain: a feeling of distress, suffering, or agony.

Basically, Jay states that he knows that Bleek has a strong desire to succeed and he can “see” the distress, suffering and agony that Bleek is going through over not having yet accomplished the success that he so badly wants.

Jay, in the mentoring role, is using the skill of observation.

But Jay’s far from finished…

Jay knows (likely from personal experience) that the distress, suffering and agony (hunger pains) Bleek is going through enrages him (blood boils).

Through observation, Jay “sees” Bleek’s strong desire, pain, agony and anger.

Once someone’s “blood” starts “boiling”, a mentor, someone who can give much needed guidance, is a MUST-HAVE in that person’s life because anger can be channeled into focus and purpose… or it can lead to a train wreck.

A mentor can play a role on keeping the “train” (one’s strong desire) on track.

Jay tells us that he knows that Bleek wants to be apart of his hustle and he knows that Bleek will be loyal to him.

How does he know this?

Well, he doesn’t know for certain that Bleek will be loyal but he makes this claim based on his observation of Bleek’s strong desire and his own experiences in the game. In other words, he sees a lot himself in Bleek (he actually states this later in the verse).

Ok, let’s keep going…

I watched him make a few ends
To cop his little sneakers and gear
Then it’s just enough for re-up again

Jay states that he has observed Bleek’s hustle and has come to the conclusion that Bleek is basically hustling backwards. Bleek makes money in the streets but blows his profits on clothes and sneakers with only his original principle or investment left to purchase more product.

This far too common occurrence in the drug game happens in legitimate business, doesn’t it? It also applies to how we manage our household finances, doesn’t it?

See, this story about a mentor/protégé relationship in the criminal underworld can give us insight on the need for guidance when it comes to issues such as financial management in our own lives.

Moving on…

I see myself in his eyes, I moved from Levi’s
to Guess to Versace, now it’s diamonds like Liberace

Here’s where “untrained ears” get off-focus. This line is not about looking good in the hottest fashions. Jay uses the “social-status ladder” of fashion labels to describe his progression in the pursuit of success.

Next lines…

That’s just the natural cycle
Nobody wanna be like Michael
Where I’m from, just them niggaz who bounce from a gun

It’s quite telling how Jay states that the progression, starting at the bottom and rising to the top of the drug trade, is “just the natural cycle” where he’s from. It goes back to what I have written about in the past, how the drug trade is often the most “vibrant” “industry” in the ‘hood and offers young ambitious cats like Jay and Bleek opportunities to succeed.

Here are the last lines…

We out here trying to make hard white into cold green
I can help shortie blow out like Afro-Sheen
Plus I can relive my days of youth, which is gone
That little nigga’s peeps, it’s time to put him on”

These lines simply describe the process of distributing the product (crack cocaine) and turning that product into profits (cold green). Jay states that as a mentor he can give Bleek guidance and help him succeed in the drug game.

Jay concludes the verse stating that mentoring Bleek gives him an opportunity to “relive” the days of his youth. This desire is part of what drives mentors. They remember when they were “hungry” and went through “hunger pains”. They remember when their blood boiled and how someone kept their “train” on the right track instead of wrecking.

Successful people take an interest in those who have the talent and drive to succeed.

Giving guidance and being a source of inspiration makes mentors feel just as good about themselves as it makes them feel good about the progress of their protégés.

Listen to the entire song… with a “trained ear”. Check out Bleek’s verse and the third verse where Jay & Bleek have a back-and-forth conversation about the ins-and-outs of the drug game.

Jay’s first verse reveals the power of focused observation in the mentor/protégé relationship. As I stated earlier, this verse gives those in a mentoring role as much insight as it does for the ambitious but inexperienced who are in search of guidance.